The Dream Where Jason Segel is My Boyfriend – Casey Murphy

I sit in a row boat in the middle of the ocean. The water is still and as clear as glass. The sky is red and purple and blue as if the sun is sinking below the sea. But I can’t see the sun.

There are light brown rocks in the distance. I climb out of the boat, expecting to walk on the water. The sea remains calm as I wade through it, coming out as if I haven’t been in.

I sit on the dry rocks, and look down at the sea far below. Images pop into my mind:

A locket.

A photo.

A friend and her man.

And the water is up around my ankles. I can see the boat in the distance, but the waves are rough. I jump in anyway. I am tossed. I go under, praying the ground is not too far beneath. The tips of my toes brush the ground. I am going to drown.

Will Smith is helping me from the waves. He is in the boat. I blink.

The room is red velvet and satin. There’s a canopy bed and plush one person settee’s scattered about. A tall white cake sits on a round, dark brown table. There is a girl, with chin length white blonde hair next to it.

Blondie smiles. I feel like I know Blondie. Like we’re best friends. A faint memory of us hanging out wiggles in the back of my mind.

A vulture, half the size of the room swoops in and perches on the canopy bed. Across the room, Blondie has slipped into a closet. She beckons to me.

In the closet the door automatically closes. I can feel it moving upward like an elevator. I stumble out into a room surrounded in glass. Popcorn is pressed against the outside, as well as spilling inside. My little brother, who isn’t really my brother, is playing paddle ball. Blondie is across the room again.

I know the vulture was part of the future, and that this is the past.

“It’s weird,” I say. “I don’t know whether it’s all going to happen again.”

The room is surrounded by white walls. Nerdy teenagers sit at picnic tables.

“Who wants the first batch?” a boy asks, holding a hand grenade on a plate. The hand grenade is wet and steam is rising off it. There is no pin.

“How do you expect me to eat that?” another boy asks as I cross out of the room into a adjoining room that looks the same.

“You know they’re serving nuclear bombs for food in there, right?” I say to no one in particular.

I am searching for someone. My chest is tight. I feel relieved that I am home, but anxiety is eating away at me.

Freaks and Geeks’s Jason Segel comes over and kisses me. I know I have found who I was looking for. As soon as he’s there, he’s gone, and Blondie is asking, “Did you tell him?”

I shake my head.

Now I’m outside, walking back in. Jason Segel is walking alongside me. We are surrounded by people. I lace my fingers with his.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whisper.

Jason Segel looks down at me. “I can’t. I have to count this money and help the guys.”

I glance at the wad of money rolled up in his other hand, wondering where he got it, but knowing I don’t really care. Our fingers unlink.